Bekahism #29

Bekah: Guess what I learned in primary today?
Seth and Andrea: What?
Bekah (forcefully): Get thee in hands, Satan!
Seth and Andrea: Uh, say that again?
Bekah (more forcefully): Get thee in hands, Satan! It means "go away, Satan."
Seth: Do you mean "Get thee hence, Satan!"
Bekah (nodding): Yeah. Get thee in hands.

Anaism #7

Andrea driving the girls around in the van...

Ana: Everybody, be quiet! I'm trying to concentrate!
Andrea: Um... okay. On what, Ana?
Ana: Driving.

Bekahism #28

This morning, picking out her clothes to wear for the day...

Bekah: What do you guys think of this shirt? I don't know, I think it might look too "hunting camp"-ish.

Bekahism #27

While discussing the possibility of Bekah playing t-ball this summer.

Bekah: I want to play all the sports you played, Ma.
Andrea: Great, Bekah!
Bekah: I want to play volleyball and softball and t-ball and basketball. Because I already know how to headbutt.
Andrea: Uh ... you're thinking soccer, Bekah.

Yeah ... we never watch sports at our house. And if your kid is on the opposing team and my daughter randomly headbutts him/her, my deepest apologies.

Sleepy smiles

I absolutely LOVE it when newborns grin in their sleep.

Miriam at 24 days old.

So precious.

Bekahism #26

Bekah: I thought you said Aunt Cathy's oldest boy was going on a mission.
Andrea: That's right. He's gone already. He's in the MTC learning to teach and be a missionary.
Bekah: What?! Why would he be learning how to teach fish?
Andrea: (Befuddled.) Huh? (The light goes on.) Oh! He's in the MTC, Bekah. Not the Empty Sea.

Recent goings-ons

Being too tired and lazy, I'm gonna lump a bunch of stuff into one photographic blog post. So, there!

The big girls LOVE their baby sister. They talk to her, bring her toys, sing to her, tuck her in, and hold her whenever they can. Here they were offering her a toy that makes various sounds and plays various songs.

A four-generation picture taken at Seth's grandma's house on Easter Sunday. Dennis, Grandma Grover (or "Old Grandma," as she refers to herself), Miriam and Seth.

Bekah and Analee posing with the the Easter eggs we dyed the day after the holiday. Not sure why they're pretending to have binoculars.

My Grandpa Wirkus holding Miriam on Monday. He gets to sit and hold the baby while I cater to the older girls' ice cream needs.

Analee "dancing" with Mickey. Notice that my kids don't worry about how much (or how little) clothing they wear. In the first shot in this post, Ana is sans pants, whereas here she's sans shirt. It's all good!

Analee, Rebekah and Miriam watching TV together. Notice that they're all glued. Yup ... them's my zombified kids.

Rebekah giving her baby sister a kiss. Seriously ... she LOVES to hold her sister.

Me giving Miriam her first bath. Tonight. That's right ... we're delinquent parents. We don't bathe our children until they're two and a half weeks old. "We have a third child who requires hygiene? What the what?!"

To see our full gallery of such images, click here.

Betrayal

So after I extol the virtues of my religious, artistic daughter, she uses her talents to slam her mom. Not good.

On the left, it says "Andrea." (Yes, I told her how to spell my name, but I didn't know it would be used for evil purposes.) On the right, it says "Rebekah." Actually, it says "KAHREBE," but that's because she ran out of room under the "REB" and had to put the rest of her name above it.

Bekah happily showed me her latest creation, which, naturally, I had a few questions about.

Me: "Why do I have a big X on me?"
Bekah: "It's a sign. It's a picture of you yelling with an X through it, so you're not supposed to yell at me."
Me: "What are you doing?"
Bekah: "I'm in prison. You're not supposed to put me in prison."
Me: "When do I yell at you and put you in prison?"
Bekah: "Like last night when you yelled at me."
Me: (Remembering the incident that occurred the night before) "Okay, Bekah. But now you need to draw a sign of you biting the wooden frame of your bed with a big X through it. If you wouldn't bite your bed and leave big teeth marks in it, I wouldn't get upset with you."

Not surprisingly, I'm still waiting for that second sign ...

Creature of habit

I guess Seth is superstitious when it comes to the births of our children. Examine the pictures below.

Seth holding Rebekah the day she was born--June 14. 2005.

Seth eating dinner in the hospital the day Analee was born--May 24, 2007.

Seth holding Miriam the day she was born--March 27, 2010.

See what I mean? He wore the same plaid short-sleeved shirt for the births of all three of our girls. The first time, it was just happened to be what he pulled out of the closet that morning. But when he saw how closely Bekah examined the plaid after she was born, he determined that he would have to wear that shirt for all subsequent births. And so far, he has.

I guess the day the shirt wears out or suffers a major crisis will be the day we stop having children.

Little artist

During the opening session of General Conference on Saturday, Bekah occupied her time by drawing the prophet and herself.

Bekah's the one on the left, in case you couldn't tell.

Pretty cute. I submitted it to the Friend, but I bet they're inundated with such artwork following Conference. We'll see if it gets published. I know if it were up to me, I'd definitely pick it. ... Look at how sturdy President Monson's neck is!

baaaaaa

Overheard: Bekah and Ana talking this morning before I went to bring Andrea and Miri home from the hospital.

Ana: But how does Mommy feed baby Miriam?
Bekah: She gets milk in her hummybanks. (Note: "hummybanks" is how the girls refer to the, er, female chestal region).
Ana: But how does she have milk in there?
Bekah: Mommy told me, she has lambs in there that make the milk.
Daddy: Glands, Rebekah. Glands.
Bekah: Oh. I thought it was lambs.

Bekahism #25

Bekah, baby-talking to Miriam: Hello Miriam! How are you sweet baby? Am I your big sister? Huh? Huh? Am I? (pauses and listens) Hmm... no answer.

All the details

Seth is at home taking care of the older girls and getting one night of uninterrupted sleep before Miriam and I come home from the hospital tomorrow. And it's going to be a test of patience for me to type this on the laptop's keyboard, but I just watched my last episode of ANTM and the baby's resting, so it's as good as time as any to get this all down.

I suspected that Miriam would come a little early. She had been sitting low for a long time, and when I went to the doctor's office last Tuesday, she told me that I was already dilated to a 5. (When my nurse at the hospital heard that, she thought my doctor was crazy for sending me home.) So I had been trying to keep up on the laundry and dishes all week so that all the little things would be in order when the time came to make a dash for the hospital.

Friday night, Seth and I went to an Elders' Quorum activity at the church. We semi-joked with the other couples there about us having a baby any day now. Little did we know it was less than a day away.

Saturday morning, I woke up before 2 a.m. with contractions. For the past week I would have a bout of contractions about 5 minutes apart that would last for 30 minutes and then suddenly stop, so thinking this would be another such instance, I stayed in bed for a while. When they persisted, I starting checking the time on the alarm clock. Then I turned on the lamp and read for a while. Then I went downstairs and got on the computer. Then I turned on the TV and watched the Cosby show. Seth came down after my second episode and asked for the details.

I told him that I'd been contracting for almost two hours, but sometimes the contractions were six minutes apart, and sometimes they were eight minutes apart. Being the eager person he is, he wanted me to get in the van and go immediately to the hospital. But I didn't want to wake up his parents to come over and be with the girls if it was a false alarm. So I called the hospital, and the nurse suggested I try a warm bath; if the contractions persisted and got to 4-5 minutes apart, I should come in.

In the end, Seth was right. The bath didn't stop the contractions, so we called his parents and got our bags.

You'd think I would have been more confident in identifying the signs of labor. This is, after our, our third child. But with Bekah, I was induced. And with Ana, the doctor checked me on a routine visit and told me to get right to the hospital because I was dilating but not contracting. So with both other girls, I had to get a healthy dose of Pitocin to get things started.

But it turned out to be the real deal. We got to the hospital before 5 a.m., got checked in, and had the nurses start looking me over. By the time I was set up in my bed and had answered all the nurse's questions, my contractions were coming much closer together and were much stronger. Thank heavens for epidurals.

But the epidural, as heavenly as it was, really slowed down my contractions. The nurse had to hook up a bag of Pitocin to my IV and keep dialing it up higher and higher. And while I was receiving the Pitocin, I wasn't dilating any more.

All that changed when the doctor showed up and broke my water. Soon after she left, I told the nurse that I was feeling the contractions a lot lower. She checked me and laughed in disbelief. In the time since the doctor had broken my water, I had gone from a six to a 10. I swear it took about 10 minutes.

So she got the doctor back in my room, and I pushed through one contraction. Because of some complications with previous pregnancies, my doctor didn't want me pushing too hard or for too long. Even knowing that, it was weird to hear her tell me to "push gently" and "stop pushing now." Miriam was crowning with that one push, and during my next contraction, the doctor eased her out.

One push! I couldn't believe it! This was the easiest labor and delivery I've had by far. And after the nurse checked her out and got her back to me, Miriam proved to be a voracious eater. Bekah and I had a lot of problems figuring out how to get her fed during her first couple of days, so we (especially Seth) are anxious when it comes to starting breastfeeding.

So Miriam, as already stated, was born yesterday. She weighed exactly the same as Rebekah, and came nine days before her due date like Analee. As far as hair color and length, it falls right between her two sisters--darker and shorter than Bekah's at first, and lighter and longer than Ana's. Time will tell is she turns out to be a blonde or brunette, but Bekah's hoping she'll have blond hair and blue eyes like herself, while Analee's hoping she'll have purple hair and purple eyes. I tried explaining that neither was likely, but it's hard for a two-year-old to understand why her baby sister would have to be part alien in order to fit that bill.

A lot of loving family members have come to see this sweet new addition to our family; everyone seems to agree that she's beautiful. And despite all the nice visits and the wonderful care of the hospital staff, I'm eager to go home tomorrow and be together as a family. It's great having nurses around to bring me food, get me pain meds and take my baby for a few hours while I sleep, but I'll be even more glad to sleep in my own bed and spend time with all my girls.

Sigh ... we're a family of five now. I'm a mom of three. Three girls, no less! I can't help but think how wonderfully blessed I am to be so fortunate.

she's here!

Miriam Grover was born at 11:45 AM, Saturday, March 27, 2010. She weighed in at 6 lbs. 12 oz., and is 20 inches long. It looks like she's going to be a blondie like Rebekah.

The delivery went well and Andrea and Miri are both healthy and happy.

I'd put pictures up but the card reader in my laptop doesn't work and we're still at the hospital. I'm sure there will be a more complete post later, but for now I just wanted to share the news!

-Seth

Oh, how I love to hate Twilight

Before I begin, I will openly admit that I've never picked up a Stephanie Meyer novel. In fact, I often shield my eyes while walking past the huge display in Barnes and Noble because I'd hate to make the employees have to wipe up the regurgitated contents of my lunch off their Rob? Rod? Rub? Patterson? Pattinson? posters.

But I have seen both Twilight movies. Why? Not because I spent money on them. And not because I like them. Seth and I have chosen to watch them because we mock them. Mercilessly.

Please keep in mind that, for a large portion of my life, I have been anti-girly anything. Having little girls of my own, I have lightened up when it comes to pink, princesses and ponies. But the buck stops at chick flicks.

So after sacrificing a few IQ points by subjecting myself to the movie, here's my take on New Moon.

Angst

This sums up the first Twilight movie, in my opinion. Angsty teenage angst-filled drama. We hoped that the second movie would not slack in the angst department, and we were not disappointed. Every uncomfortable pause, furrowed brow and suppressed grunt/moan was truly delightful. Even the very last "line" in the movie is a startled grunt!

Extra points to that Patt- guy for getting those massive veins to pop out on his forehead every time he painfully smooched Bella. Her lips must be made of magma for him to be in such agony.

Flakiness

I honestly don't know why some women dream of being Bella Swan. (May I digress for one moment? Bella Swan? Seriously? BELLA Swan? Bella SWAN? That's a soap opera name if I've ever heard one.) First it's, "Oh, Edward ... how do I love thee. I would do anything for you. Wait! You have to leave? Oh man, I'm so depressed. Wait a second ... who is this tasty piece of man-meat? Jacob! You're so chiseled! And you built me a motorcycle! I love you. Wait ... Edward's back? And he wants me? Forget you, Jacob." Yeah, that's one dedicated woman.

Physique

I heard that the Jacob dude had to gain 26 pounds of muscle for this film. And the director made sure that we got to view all 26 pounds of flesh at least 26 times. Of course a bunch of Native American werewolves run around without their shirts on. And of course Jacob would quickly shuck his shirt to show off his pecs. Wait ... I mean, of course he would shuck his shirt to wipe some blood off Bella. Or to let her blow her nose. Or to wipe a tear from her eye. I bet he was ready and raring to de-shirt for any given opportunity.

In one shot, we saw Jacob standing (shirtless, of course) in the foreground while Bella faced him in the background. I'm sorry, but nobody's shoulders look like that when they're relaxed. I think he was trying to pinch a penny between those delts.

Promises

These New Moon peeps are as bad as presidential hopefuls when it comes to making and keeping promises. Edward promises Bella she'll never see him again. Bella promises Edward she won't do anything reckless. Jacob promises Bella he'll never hurt her. Lies! All lies! No wonder these people are so angsty!

One-liners

These are just a couple of the gems we heartily guffawed over during the course of the movie:

Bella Swan [to Edward]: If this is about my soul, take it! I don't want it without you!

Obviously this girl is brain dead. The worth of her soul? Nada. Zilch. Zip. Who needs a soul when you have a man?

Bella Swan: [to Jacob] Please don't make me choose. Because it will be him, every time. It's always been him.

Ummm ... okay. "Don't make me choose." Yet Jacob doesn't say anything, do anything or even get a chance to think anything before you totally and completely choose. Good one.

Summary

Chick flicks simultaneously bore me and gross me out. At one point in my life, I wondered if it was a phase that I'd grow out of ... you know, once I started dating, had a boyfriend, got engaged, got married or had children. Apparently not. I just can't get over on-screen kisses, shallow relationships and cheesy lines that plague this type of movie. Add to that the whole in-love-with-two-supernatural-beings-who-fight-over me thing, and it's simply gag-tastic.

If I've offended because you consider yourself a die-hard vampire/werewolf romantic, I apologize. You're welcome to criticize my true movie love--Star Wars--as much as you want. Just go easy on the space nerd jokes.